Sleeping Pipsqueak
by SilverPedals1402
Summary: Edward is sleeping in a bit too much. Alphonse has a plan to possibly save his brother from a certain pyrotechnic Flame Alchemist. And an evil plan it is! Mwhahaha!
1. Chapter 1

**This is really random and really short. It's a story I wrote for my one friend that is as obsessed with FMA as I am, and decided I should post this. Might as well, before the document itself, is buried within my computer. Especially with high school starting...^^" **

**I shall warn you before hand, that it is SEVERELY random, and just remember, I wrote this the way I know my friend will enjoy, and if you find the style, or story not your type, its fine, just go elsewhere, and please no flames. That's all I ask. **

**This takes place after Promised day, but Edward still has alchemy and his automail arm, Al has his body back, and Ed is still doing work for the Military. (And yes, I left Mustang as Colonel...don't know why though.)**

**Disclaimer: FullMetal Alchemist is NOT mine! None of them are! Brotherhood/Shamballa/Original/whatever, NONE are mine!**

It was an ever so random morning and the birds were singing and the sun was shining and the blossoms were blooming. It was how it was every morning. Only, one certain blond wasn't even awake to acknowledge the beauty of the morning...Who am I kidding? Mornings suck! But that's not the point here. The point was Edward Elric was still sleeping. Not that, that was anything new, but it _was _in fact, a work day.

Meaning one thing...Colonel Mustang. Which, in any (CoughshortCough) blond, red coat wearing alchemist knew what that mean. And these specific people (person) know that it's best to avoid the man until they both were at each other's neck so early in the morning.

So yeah, maybe it is a good thing this blond decided to sleep in and arrive late...As always…

On the OTHER HAND...another blond was actually up in time to listen to the pretty birds sing and possibly even the lucky wondering cat that just somehow appears next to this blond. Now, this blond isn't so high maintenance and his hair was even a little darker than the others. He wasn't nothing like this Colonel hating, sleeping beauty, grouchy, (CoughshortCough) blond.

Oh no. Nothing like him. Actually, personality wise, they are quite opposites. Though, you could say they are probably the most alike than any other. Why? Well, it does have to do with the simple fact that they are brothers. Very, very close brothers. It could even have something to do with the history they share.

Oh, they had such a long adventure together. This adventure includes the loss of an arm and a leg, a body, a mom, a good friend or two, the training for alchemy, island survival, an wrench loving gearhead, a short granny, a pyrotechnic, a smoker, the trigger finger, a dog or two, creepy children, immortals (or so they say,) the military, a serial killer, a Chinese (Xingnese) girl(prince), he/she body guards, illegal immigrants, knights in shining armor, and...Well I'm not going to go in any further detail. That could go on and on and on and...Oh sorry…

These two brothers go by the names Edward Elric and Alphonse Elric. Or as a certain Colonel (pyrotechnic) would say to Edward, Fullmetal. Or as a Palm tree liked to calll him, Pipsqueak.

**("WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PIPSQUEAK, PALM TREE!")**

_AHEM!_

On to the story.

The darker blond haired boy, Alphonse Elric, was wide awake as he read another one of their alchemy books they owned. It was probably about the twentieth time that he's read that specific one, but what can he say? He's an alchemist.

He _had_ tried to wake his brother, Edward Elric up, but as usual, nothing worked. He quit as soon as his brother had rolled off the bed. Maybe then, he would wake up sooner than usual. Then maybe he could get the Colonel to go easy on Edward for being late.

Who was he kidding? Edward could sleep anywhere he wanted to. He wasn't lying! One time the eldest of the two, fell asleep one of the BUMPIEST carriage rides ever. Then he claimed that he hadn't had such good sleep in so long.

Maybe he should try one more time...yeah. He should do that. He tiptoed, no scratch that, he STOMPED into the room his brother slept in, which he also slept in on the other side of the room.

His brother still laid on the floor...or well...somewhat. His face was planted against the hardwood floor, while his lower waist and bottom stuck in the air. Alphonse couldn't help but to chuckle at his brother. He was even drooling!

"Brother!" Alphonse began in his usual upbeat voice. "Wake up!"

Of course there was no response.

So, he gave his brother a nice (rough) shake, causing the older brother to tip over. Said brother, shifted around on the floor to find a new comfy position, kicking his younger brother's toes.

"Brother!" Alphonse continued, louder this time. "WAKE UP!"

"Go away, Al…" Edward said in a tired, groggy voice.

"No, you are already four hours late to the Colonel's office." Al replied. "And I would hate to see what he's going to do to you already."

Nothing was said in response.

Of course there wasn't, Edward was a 'growing' man, who needed as much sleep as possible.

"Edward!" Al shouted, not using his famous nickname for his brother. "WAKE! UP!"

Alphonse was just about ready to leave his brother behind, and go tell the Colonel that Edward couldn't make it until a later time, but something else popped into his mind. And an ever so rare, _smirk_, spread across the boy's face.

He knew exactly what to do now…

"Mwhahahahahahaha!" Al laughed maniacally before he coughed and choked. He blinked to himself...What just happened?

Oh well, time for the plan!

**Hopefully it was good, and hopefully you guys liked it! :D Please tell me your thoughts! There will be more chapters, eventually...I'm a busy person right now. BUT the weekend is almost upon us!**

**Random comment: My friend and I, have this sort of running gag going one about Alphonse. One day, we were talking about what would happen if Alphonse turned evil or whatever. And we'd both said that is wasn't a very good thing, because Alphonse can be scary when he's angry. ^^" Because he's almost never angry. So, now whenever we have a bad day are whatnot, we say "Evil Alphonse is stalking you/me" and when we make stupid choices or whatever, we say "Don't listen to Evil Alphonse, it's not good." We also have a running gag one Roy Mustang, Selim Bradley/Pride, Ling, and Envy! Oh and May Chang!**

**Well, I've talked to much...so bye! Review! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, it isn´t quite so humorous this chapter, though it it, dont worry! And it´s probably not what you thought it was going to be, but oh well, like I said, I´m aiming to please my friend more than i am to you guys (sorry). So, yeah...**

**Disclaimer: FMA is NOT mine! **

It wasn't everyday that Alphonse was actually into plotting something against his brother. I guess you can't really say that he was _plotting against _Edward, but that didn't mean a thing. Of course he was plotting against him. He had to wake his brother up, and it's considered plotting _against _him if Edward didn't actually want to wake up in the first place.

Okay, it doesn't matter what it's called.

Either way, Alphonse was going to wake Edward up, whether he liked it or not.

He'd originally thought of dumping a bucket of cats on his brother, cause then maybe Edward would feel the fur and want to throw all the cats out the window. That, or force Al to get rid of them before he did. That was when he realized that doing that, would involve hurting cats...He'd never do that to the precious cats!

Even though Plan A didn't happen, there was still Plan B. Which, was probably worse than the first plan. At least for Edward.

Alphonse sneakily walked up to his brother, who had almost fully pushed himself under his own bed. He bent down and lifted his (CoughshortCough) brother, into his arms, that is _after _he pulled him out from under the bed. Being the taller of the two, Alphonse was easily able to carry his brother out of their room and to the door of their apartment.

Now he knew that Edward wasn't going to be too much later for his meeting with Mustang. That was at least something he could be relieved about.

Alphonse walked down the stairs of the apartment building, ignoring the stares he received from one of their neighbors. Once he reached the bottom of the stairs, and was safely out the door, he tossed Edward over his shoulder, knowing full well his brother would sleep right through it.

So now, Edward hung over his younger brothers shoulder like a little ragdoll.

**(DON'T CALL ME LITTE! DX)**

Alphonse walked to Central as if he was going to a flower shop. A little skip to his step, and a tune to hum to.

As far as mornings - afternoons - go, it was actually quite peaceful. Sadly there was no kittens to follow him today, but maybe that's because he had Edward hung over his shoulder. Poor kittens, they must be terrified of the Red coated, (CoughshortCough), blond alchemist.

The entire walk there, Edward hadn't so much as even mumbled as he was carried off to central. Not even when Alphonse had almost dropped on the stairs up to the Central doors. Though a few familiar officers gave him a few looks.

Passing through the hallways, Alphonse passed many familiar faces. Riza Hawkeye being one of them.

"Hello, Alphonse." She said, eying the small alchemist that hung over Al's shoulder.

**(STOP CALLING ME SMALL!)**

"Hello, Lieutenant." Alphonse said, not mentioning his brother.

"Mustang's been waiting all morning for Fullmetal." Hawkeye said.

Alphonse nodded vigorously. He was the one that brought Edward here, so he obviously knows that the Colonel would be waiting. What kind of brother would he be if he couldn't even remember to get his brother to work on time? (ish)

"Yes ma'am! I'm heading to his office right away!" Alphonse smiled as he ran off, Edward still not waking up.

Alphonse wondered what the Colonel was going to say/do when Edward wakes up.

…

Colonel Roy Mustang was...irritated. If you could even call it that. He was more pissed than irritated. Though he had too much paperwork to even call it that. He was...frustrated.

Edward Elric aka Fullmetal was once again late! And this time by almost five hours. That irresponsible, short tempered, brat of an alchemist couldn't even turn up on time for a simple report that he'd promised would only take about 15 minutes, at tops.

Last time he's going to try to make things easier on the guy. No more Mr. Nice guy. From now on, things will be serious. No more slacking off. Yeah, he wasn't going to go easy on the pipsqueak.

There was a knock on the door. Mustang looked up from the paperwork he was currently signing. "You may enter."

Through the doors, walked Alphonse with a certain blond thrown over his shoulders. Mustang raised an eyebrow.

"Good afternoon Alphonse, nice of you to show up." Mustang said, trying not to be angry with Alphonse, who had nothing to do with his...frustration.

"I'm sorry, Colonel!" Alphonse quickly said, bowing ever so slightly. "He won't wake up, I've tried all morning and he wouldn't wake up!"

Alphonse then promptly tossed Edward from his shoulder, to the sofa that was conveniently placed in the Colonel's office. Only as he did, Edward bounced off the sofa and landed on his face on the hardwood floor, much like he was earlier.

At least this time, Edward had the common sense to WAKE UP when his head hit the ground. He was a bit groggy and slow on the uptake, but he seemed fine.

"Well, he's up now." Mustang commented.

In delayed reaction, Edward held the part of his head the hit the ground, yelling out, "OWWWW!"

"That's what you get for sleeping in." The Flame Alchemist smirked at the blond.

Just now realizing just where he was, Edward shouted out again. "WHY AM I IN THE COLONEL´S OFFICE!?¨

¨Brother, calm down! I brought you here, remember? You had a meeting with the Colonel." Alphonse said before his brother had a complete melt down.

¨YOU TRAITOR!¨ Edward shouted pointing his finger.

Yes, yes he did resort to finger pointing.

Like the little child he is.

**(I AM NOT LITTLE! YOU TAKE THAT BACK!)**

Edward huffed and puffed as he waited for the Colonel to say something.

¨You are dismissed." Mustang promptly said.

¨Dismissed?" Both Elric brother´s asked.

¨Dismissed." Mustang confirmed. ¨If you can´t show up on time, I´m not going to waste my time with you when I have other things to do. Fullmetal, I do expect you here by 7 o´clock sharp tomorrow morning.¨

¨WHAT!?¨ Edward shouted, an angry mark appearing on his forhead.

¨You heard me, now dismissed.¨

Edward grumbled as he lead the way out of the Colonel's office. Only, the instant he stepped out the door, he was bombarded with cold water.

¨AHHH!¨

Edward opened his eyes to see Havoc running away shouting, ¨PLEASE DON´T KILL ME! IT WAS BREDA´S IDEA!¨

¨Was not!" Said an innocent Breda who was actually working. ¨You were the one who wanted to give Cheif a cold wake up call.¨

Edward couldn´t help but to massage his temple to fight off an oncoming headache. He just _had _to sleep in.

**I´m hoping that was a good enough ending! I´ll probably make more silly oneshots or short stories for FMA mainly because my friend actually likes these, and it will be good practice to get better at writing for this fandom! :D **

**Fun Fact: _I´m obsessed with equalness/symmetry, especially when it comes to cothing or wounds in a story/real life. But I´m not OCD. _**

**I do take requests, so if you have any, please let me know! :) Though, no promises one when i´ll get them written, you know, cause highschool...Anyways, PM me or email me (on profile) any requests, questions, or whatever. Oh and don´t forget to review! :D**

**Hugs and Love, SilverPedals!**


End file.
